Ten Years Later
by LShbm
Summary: Tens years after breaking dawn. what happens when Nessie makes a stupid, irrational decision that bands her from ever seeing jacob again. How will they manage? Twilight characters a Miss stephanie Meyers. review!
1. Our First Kiss

_She's almost nineteen, she's almost nineteen, she's almost nineteen. _I told myself joyfully.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen was almost nineteen; and I couldn't wait. I had two days before the glorious occasion. Her mother and father were going to throw a party for her. They were inviting all the vamps they knew, or liked. Even that bloodsucker that was just like her was going. I knew Renesmee would never choose him over me, but I still didn't like him.

Technically, now, I was in my late twenties. But I had the body of a nineteen year old and Renesmee did too. But she was still ten… technically.

When Nessie was still a baby Edward and Carlisle came up with some genius formula to determine her physical birthday. We used to have them like, three times a year. But once her growing slowed down so did the parties.

The day Carlisle and Edward had come up with their formula Edward and I had also made an agreement. I couldn't touch her – in a romantic way – until she celebrated being nineteen.

Edward had been hanging all over us for the past two weeks. I think he was afraid I was going to break my end of the bargain. But I wasn't; I _wanted_ to keep my body intact.

I had been in love with Nessie for about a year. I had always loved her, but like a brother. Now I was in love, and so much. I think Nessie felt it but I also think she didn't really know what she was feeling. Well no matter what I could wait until the party.

***

Alice, or shortie, had made the party into a formal event. This was a pain to Bella and Nessie. Nessie had inherited her mothers' sense of fashion which aggravated Alice like no other. But the party was formal never the less. I know for a fact Nessie hasn't been allowed inside the Cullen's house for the past forty-eight hours. This was going to be quite an event.

Even I had spent a lot of time on my appearance. I woke up this morning so I had time to shower, shave, eat, and make myself into a presentable gentleman. Goddamn vampires, didn't have to spend any time at all of their appearance and they still looked great…

I got to the party too early but eventually things got rolling. I tried to talk to Nessie but she was swept away by all the vamps that hadn't seen her in over a year. She had met girls that were about her age, also vampires, and now they seemed to be like best friends. They seemed nice, but I don't think they approved of me. They expressed that to Nessie a while back and she told them off; _that's my girl_ I had thought.

I decided to hang with Embry and Quill until Nessie was available. But soon enough the music started and Quill went off with Claire, and thought she was still thirteen they danced around. Embry went off with his girlfriend, Lizzie. Actually she was a girl he had imprinted on. It was nice that all three of us as had imprinted now, it wasn't awkward. Well it was for the pack, because the only wolves that hadn't were Leah and Seth.

Finally the crowd around Nessie went off to dance with somebody. I went up to her,

"May I have your arm?" I asked, In a British accent.

"Arm, leg… I'm yours!" she laughed back, in another amazing accent. This was one of our many inside jokes. We had been watching _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ and that scene turned into a joke. We had so many jokes; she was truly my best friend.

I twirled her around and we laughed. Then a slow song came on. She looked up into my eyes and my heart gave a throb. She pulled herself closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I put mine around her waist. With every second the air space between us was being minimized. At some point I could hear her heartbeat, feel her breathing. I put my face into her hair.

It was just the two of us, no one else in the world existed. The song changed but to my immense relief it was another slow song. I got to hold her for a few more minutes.

Soon, too soon, the song ended. I said,

"You want to get some fresh air?" she nodded, thank god. Something inside me rejoiced that she wanted to be with me instead of her girlfriends.

We went into the large backyard, I was holding her hand. She stared at it curiously, I had held her hand before but I don't think she ever had felt anything when I did. We sat down in the cool, moist grass.

"What are you thinking?" I said after a few minutes. She laughed,

"I don't know." I gave her a quizzical look. "I just mean that," she continued, "well, er, I don't really know how to say it…"

"Tell me. You know you can tell me whatever you want"

"Well… what the hell is going on Jacob?" she demanded and then got a guilty look, she didn't like to curse.

"What's wrong?" I asked. As if I didn't know…

"Why do I, fell… this way? Why all of a sudden? I mean…" her face turned red, "never mind…"

"What?" I snickered; I loved to watch her blush. It was so cute.

She turned a deeper shade of red, "I mean, I guess I kind of always knew something like this would happen but…" her voice trailed off to a whisper.

I laughed, "What's funny?" she asked, embarrassed.

"Because I have always known I would fall in love with you Nessie. I imprinted on you when you were just a baby. Remember me telling you about Embry or Quill imprinting? And you asked if it had happened to me and I never responded? I never told you because Bella and Edward didn't think you should find out until you were nineteen. I don't know why, so don't ask, but they did. So now you're nineteen. And I have told you."

She stared at me. "I'll kill them." she said, which made me laugh even harder, "I'm not kidding! I can't believe they didn't tell me!" she was fuming.

I grinned and looked her in the eyes. Her face softened and I tucked a strand of runaway hair behind her ear. She smiled and looked down. I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. She looked up and smiled.

"Jake…" she whispered almost to herself. She grinned at something,

"My Jacob…" I kissed her on the nose, the cheek. Leaned into me and put her lips on the corner of mine. She took a breath, shook her head a little, and moved her lips over to the left to rest on top of mine.

Her lips touched mine and before either of us knew what was going on we were all over each others. Our lips fit each other's perfectly, we were a match. I ran my big hand through her hair and put the other on her back; pulling her closer to me. My heart was soaring. She threw her arms around my neck. I could feel her smile.

I smiled back.

She pulled away from the kiss to breath and I kissed her face. Leaned into my shoulder, I stopped kissing her. Instead I just petted her long hair. She still had her arms around me and I still had one of mine wrapped around her. Neither of us wanted to let go.

I became aware of Edward cussing in the house, and Bella asking what before listening and looking out the window. "I'm going to go get her…" he said, "No, let them be" Bella responded. Nessie snickered; I guess she had heard them too. I laughed and she laughed and soon we were rolling around with our hands on our sides.

"Nessie…"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Her eyes widened, she opened her mouth and closed it again.

"Oh Jake…" she said, distressed. I smiled at her; I know she wasn't in love with me.

But she would be. We were born for each other.

"It's okay," I smiled, "I understand." I moved in to kiss her again but Edward had had enough. He came to the back door and yelled for us to come in. Renesmee rolled her eyes,

"Later" I whispered. Her eyes gleamed.

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_Soooo… what'd you think??? I think I like it(: but I'm not sure if it was too soon for them to kiss or what… well tell me what you think! I still have to write the next chapter so it should be a few days before it's up. I __**love**__ reviews. If you have __**anything**__ to say, just say it. Lol even if it's kind of mean…. Review, review! Thanks, Lilly:DD _


	2. I Wanted to be a Teenager

A Little rebellion now and then is a good thing.  
-Thomas Jefferson

It's been two weeks since Jacob first kissed me. Actually, it's been two weeks since anybody kissed me. See, Jacob was my first kiss and I also want him to be my last.

I must admit I was pretty upset when I found out he had imprinted on me and no one bothered to let me know! It made me so mad… the next morning I really let loose and let mom and dad have it. They've defended their actions, a move that really bugged me.

In fact it wasn't just that. My parents have been driving me nuts recently, especially since my nineteenth birthday party.

I have always been close to Jacob. I have spent the night at his house; he has spent the night at mine. Just a week ago we were at his house watching a movie, and we both fell asleep. When we woke up it was around two in the morning and I decided to call me parents and have them just come get me in the morning; I was pretty tired. Well they would have none of that and they came to get me right away. They did have to wake me up and practically drag me out of Jacobs's house. I don't even think he realized I had left until the next morning. Like I said, we were exhausted.

That night I feel asleep in my dad's car and the next morning I woke up with the most terrible aches. I walked inside our cottage and demanded to know why they didn't just let me stay at Jacobs. They gave me some bull shit about how since things we different we might have done something "inappropriate." I screamed at them and told them that they were stupid and that Jacob and I didn't _do _anything. They saw my point, and they knew I was telling the truth but they wouldn't admit they were wrong.

It irks me that they don't trust me. I have never done anything not to deserve their trust. In fact, I'm probably more trustworthy than both of them but together when they were my age. Technically they are still my age but I mean when they were my age _literally…_

I hadn't talked to Jacob in five days and I was beginning to feel like I hadn't eaten. There was a big void where my heart was. It scared me how dependent on him I was; I knew it couldn't be healthy. Part of being grounded meant no contact with my friends, particularly Jacob. I don't know why I was grounded; I was nineteen for Christ's sake! I didn't have to take this… but I had nowhere else to go. I didn't have any money; my family never saw the need to supply me with an allowance. I just asked for money when I needed it. But I couldn't just ask for a few thousand dollars to go buy a house… it didn't work that way.

I didn't even have a car. I guess I have never really had a need for a car; until now. Until Jacob. I decided that the rules they were enforcing were ridiculous; I walked into the living room, deciding to give my _dear _parents a talking to.

"Mom, Dad I- I want a car" I chickened out. I kept my mind blank so my father wouldn't hear me, I hated that stupid talent. But even though he could hear my thoughts, he couldn't hear them well. He said I had come to be partly like my mother, so when he tried to listen to me he could understand some things, but sometimes it was just static.

"Oh, okay honey." My mom sounded surprised but didn't look up from her book. My father looked suspicious but responded with the tiniest of gleams in his eyes,

"What car would you like?" he grinned.

"A fast one," I admit; I was sucking up, but I really didn't like to drive slowly. "But not to flashy. I'm thinking a Lexus" I smiled with my tongue between my teeth.

"Alright…" my father said, a bit disappointedly. I'm sure he had another idea about what car to get me but I knew he felt guilty about making me upset the other day so he went with it.

"When can I get it?" I was genially excited now.

"A few days. Do you know what model you want?" he was getting excited too.

Inspiration came to me. I needed to see Jacob, but my parents were the problem. If I got rid of the parents, I could go see Jacob. I specifically needed to get rid of my father. I dismissed the idea as quickly as it had come, and I prayed my father couldn't hear me.

"You know maybe you and someone could go pick one out. Surprise me. You could take Auntie Alice or Uncle Emmett," I spoke. In my head different colored cars were rushing by. I tried _so _hard what I would do if he went to go get me a car.

My dad, all suspicion gone, went on about how they could go today and drive down into Seattle and blah blah blah.

This was too simple, this was too easy. There had to be a catch.

Oh that's right, my mom.

"Mom…" I said hesitantly, "are you going with him?" she clearly didn't want to but maybe, just maybe…

"No I don't think so. "

Damn, maybe not.

"I'll get Emmett and Alice and we'll go."

"Dad!" I said before he ran out the door, "do _not_ let Emmett chose the car. Please!" I begged. He laughed and said "of course not" before kissing me on the forehead and running out the door.

I walked back in the house with conflicting feelings. I went into my room and started playing my piano; a love and a talent I had gotten from my father. A few minutes after I started I heard a knock and said come in.

My mother sat down on my bed and I continued to play. At some point she came up behind me and put her thin hand on my shoulder. I wasn't going to stop until she told me to thought. I knew she was gearing up for an "I know what that was about" and an "it's for your own good" speech.

"Nessie, I know what that was about…" I pursed my lips, I knew her too well.

"And I wanted to ask… do you want to go visit Jacob that'd badly that you would sneak out? Because you can go, it's alright with me," my graceful hand froze, and my mouth dropped a few inches.

"Really?" I whispered.

She nodded, "I know what it's like to go without seeing him. It's hard. Your father just has a… problem with Jacob. When I was friends with him your father would always beg me not to go and visit. His excuse was 'he's dangerous'" before I interrupted with how dumb that was she put up a hand and continued, "But I went anyway. Jacob has something about him that's good for me. And you too. He used to be my personal sunshine." She blabbed on but my thoughts were filled with other things.

"Thanks mom!" I kissed her on the cheek interrupting her sentence then I gently pushed her out of my room. I spun around like a tornado putting on clothes and talking them off. Eventually I settled on a pair of jeans and a casual shirt with my shiny bronze hair down. I was going for the casual look.

I ran over to La Push, I wanted to work off some nerves. When I could outside Jacobs's house I jogged up the jagged path that I knew by heart. When I knocked on the door – to my immense relief – Jacob answered.

"Jacob!" I sang and threw myself into his arms. Before he had time to say hello I grabbed his hand and said, "Let's go for a walk" and off we went, down to First Beach. It was a wonderful reunion. That void in my heart was becoming fuller every second I was with him. We talked about what had been going on in our lives the past couple of days; we talked about how I was able to come and my new car. We talked about his pack and about how Sam and Emily were expecting, finally. They had been trying to conceive forever.

I kept licking my lips; I really wanted to kiss him again. I think he wanted to kiss me too – I h_ope_ he wanted to kiss me too – but neither us knew what to do. Finally, when I was at my breaking point, I put his big hand on my cheek and took a step towards him. He understood immediately of course, and he caressed me face. He leaned down and I stood on tiptoe to kiss him. My involuntary reaction was to throw myself at him with such a force we fell down to the sand. The kiss never broke apart.

Finally, after a good long make out session when neither of could breath and were clutching our stomachs, he said, "Nessie… do you want to go out tonight? We could go to a restaurant and then back home" when I made a small face at the 'go back home part' he continued. "Or… we could go out, to a club or something."

I devilish grin enlightened my face. I was in the mood to do something rebellious, something impulsive and stupid.

I was in the mood to be a teenager.

I stood up and took another suggestive step in Jacobs's direction. "I'll see you tonight then," I crooned.


	3. At the Club

At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don't. the trouble is, they are usually married to each other  
-Ann Landers

An hour ago I had asked Nessie on a date. Fifty nine minutes ago she told me she wanted to go to a club.

What the hell was I supposed to do? I expected her to say no! The Nessie I know - and love - would never have agreed to go to a club. I meant it as a joke. Didn't she know that? Maybe her parents will figure out what we were up to and make her stay home. But that doesn't work out for anyone, because I want to go out with her just not to the club.

After I asked her if she wanted to go out we decided to meet at my house again in an hour. She wanted to tell her parents, well, lie to her parents about where we were going and then come back. The plan was to go out to a restaurant in Port Angeles and then to a – gulp – club there. Nessie also said she wanted to change and I'm hoping it will be something appropriate…

It came time for her to drive over to my house and she did. Nessie was wearing a nice black dress that looked a little too big, but maybe that was a new fashion trend. We hopped into my car without saying anything, it was awkward. At least it was for me.

Ten minutes into the ride I was thinking of something to say. I was about to ask what she told her parents when she started pulling off her dress

"RE- Na- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I took my eyes completely off the road to stare with wide eyes and an open at her. Really what the hell was she thinking? The car swerved.

"JACOB!" she threw herself across me and grabbed the wheel. I came back to being sane and took control again.

"Nessie what are you doing?"

"Changing!" I sighed and bit my lip as she started to pull her dress of again. Underneath was a tiny black skirt and a neon green 'boyfriend' tank. She looked like a slut. She looked like a hooker.

She looked terrible.

"What are you wearing? Why are you acting like this?" I demanded.

"Well I didn't want to dress like my mother now did I?"

"I've never seen your mother wear a skirt" I said. "Why aren't you acting like yourself?"

"I'm just…. Being a rebel" she smiled impishly.

"Um…" I said.

That was all we said for the rest of the car ride. When we got to port Angles Nessie just wanted to go to a McDonalds instead of a nice restaurant. I didn't want to go anywhere. That's a lie, I wanted to go home. But I loved Nessie more that humanly possible and her wish was my command.

After she ate (I was feeling too nervous about the night ahead) we went to go find a – gulp – club. Eventually we found a nice one. Before we got out of the car I asked Nessie,

"What are you planning on doing? How long do you want to stay?" she seemed baffled by this question.

"Um I don't know? Whatever it is that people do at clubs? And I also don't know about how long we'll be here. It depends doesn't it?" again with the impish smile. I gulped and we went inside.

The club had nice furniture, it obviously was owned by someone who knew their business. There was a shiny new looking bar, with couples and singles all around it. There we some couples grinding on the dance floor and some girls in a cluster swinging their hips like they thought they were on MTV.

It wasn't a place I wanted Nessie to be in.

She looked around then grabbed my hand and pulled me up to the bar counter. _The bar…? _ I thought. We sat down in some brand new looking stools. The bartender came up and asked what we wanted. Nessie said

"Uh, a scotch?" I didn't think she knew the names of any other type of alcoholic beverage, so she ordered this. When he looked at me I just shook my head. Nessie sipped on her drink and I ate some pretzels. The bartender came back and refilled her drink. I noted that he was keeping tabs on us. He looked at me again but I declined.

Nessie downed the second drink in half the time of the first. She was about to go for a third when I started "Nessie-"but she bared her teeth at me. _She bared her effing teeth at me! _When she looked at me like that way I could feel my innards shrivel up. My heart stopped. A wave of fury also washed over me, but I pushed it aside.

I watched her, helplessly, drowned four more drinks. That was six total. I thought I was going to throw up, I had never felt so helpless. She was about to go for a seventh when I said "NO!" I literally blew up at her; I had never done that before. But she looked at me with a shocked expression but I covered up my horror of her having another by saying "let's dance".

Her beautiful face formed a loopy smile and she let me drag her to the floor. She waved dreamily to the music but then, realizing it wasn't a slow beat, picked up the pace. She started waving her arms and hips. She slapped her but. She put her hands up and jumped in a circle.

She looked at me, as though for the first time, and put her hands on my shoulders and started to get up on me. Started to – shudder, gulp – grind on me.

It was disgusting.

Now, if I was a normal twenty-thirty something guy I would have really like this. Heck, if I was a normal twenty-thirty something guy, I would have _loved _this.

But I wasn't. And I had known Nessie since the day she was born. She was everything to me.

Seeing her like this made me want to barf. I felt that sick. It was _that _disgusting.

She started to break dance then she starting to say "break dancing contest!" I couldn't do this anymore.

I grabbed her by her tiny arm and pulled her aside.

"Nessie…" I growled. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing!" she giggled.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you are _drunk. _We're leaving."

"I don't wanna leave! It's so fun!" she pulled on my shirt, begging. I was so furious. I looked for a room to go into, I needed to hit something. Or phase. Whichever would make me feel better.

Nessie was trying to pull me back onto the dance floor. I could feel my skin prickling and my body shaking. I knew what would happen if we didn't get out of here _now. _

I scanned the room and found a janitors closet. I ran towards it. Nessie followed me with an "ooo!" I pushed against the brooms and mops so I could fit. Nessie squeezed in before I could slam the door.

"Nessie, get out!"

"Nu-un!" she teased. I planned on screaming at her but instead I punched the wall. I couldn't control my rage anymore. I phased into my giant wolf form. My clothes were ripped from my body. My hands and feet became paws and I found myself looking up and Nessie, not looking down.

I slammed my giant head against the wall and bit into the wall. I was breathing heavy for a few minutes before I had enough control to look up at Nessie. She was terrified. I could see her shaking. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open. I knew I had horrified her. something else that made me sick, scaring her.

My phasing normally fascinated her, but this wasn't Nessie. This was some horrible person I didn't know. Some clubber who drinks more than they can handle, who puts slutty clothes under their "good girl" outfits, and some girls who totally disregards anything someone with common sense tells her.

I phased back, "Nessie I'm sorry…"

"Jacob?" she asked. Her lips were lax, hanging open and she seemed to have a lazy eye.

Then she collapsed.

***

I was in a hotel with Nessie now. Right after she fainted I ran out of there, in just some spandex shorts that I always wore in the emergency of phasing. Those shorts were my lifesavers, they phased with me too.

Right become we left the bar, I found my phone that had flew out of my pocket and onto the floor when I lost control, on the ground vibrating. It was Edward. Alice must have seen what happened.

I almost died; actually, I still might. When Edward see's me next they're will be a blood bath…

But now I had a cold cloth over Nessie's forehead. It was three in the morning and I knew she was gonna be out for a while. I was planning on taking a shower and maybe getting some sleep myself, but every time I couldn't see her I started to have a nervous breakdown.

At precisely 3:29, I heard a knock on the window. I knew who it was. It was every guy's worst nightmare.

His girls father, coming to get him.


	4. The Consequences

They creek of the glass sent my hair on end. I got goose bumps on my arms. Every fiber of my being told me to phase, but I ignored that. His eyes flashed at me. I thought he was going to kill me then and there.

But he didn't. He just shoved me aside, hard, and went to Nessie.

"Nessie," he crooned, "Nessie baby, can you hear me?"

_No! _I thought, before I immediately wished I hadn't.

"I hope you didn't just think that… I'm going to deal with _you_ once I know _she_ is fine" Edward snarled.

_I'm sorry,_ I thought.

"No!" in a swift movement Edward grabbed my shirt with one hand. The fabric was gathered around my neck. He got real close to my face and whispered menacingly, "No." he threw me down on the bed with a force that made the bed break in half with a loud snap. Nessie's head jerked up and the wash cloth fell off her forehead.

"Dad!" she groaned.

"Are you okay?" he asked, franticly.

"Why did you just throw Jake?"

"Never mind. Are you sick?"

"Uh-huh. I need to-," she made a frantic throwing up motion with her hand. I made an instinctive move towards her, to help her, but Edward glared at me and scooped her up to run to the bathroom.

He held her hair while she threw up into the toilet. _That should be me_, I thought, but Edward didn't say anything. I don't think he heard me. He had a tortured look about his face. If vampires could throw up, that's what he would be doing, alongside Nessie.

"You could get her some water," he said in a gruff voice. It pained me to leave her in that state, even though I was just going to the mini bar outside the room. I got Nessie an insanely over priced water bottle and went back.

"Thank you" she said when I opened the water and handed it to her.

"Do you feel better?" Edward demanded.

"Yes," Nessie sighed.

"Then, WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" Edward shouted. "WHAT-"he hit the wall "THE-"smack "BLOODY-"smack "HELL-"smack "WERE-YOU-THINKING?"

"Dad! I-I'm sorry! I don't know." She stared the six new holes in the wall. I was surprised the ceiling didn't cave in.

"Well learn," Edward demanded of her. He turned to me and yelled, "And YOU! What the hell is wrong with you?" he took three long steps so his face was a few inches from mine. He whispered, with bared teeth, "I thought you were supposed to _protect_ her. What happened to _that? _I let you two go out for one night and _you_ _allow_ her to go to a _club. _You are FORBIDDEN, _FORBIDDEN, _to see her again!"

My mouth dropped; I was speechless.

"Father!" Nessie screamed "You're being ridiculous! That's preposterous! How can you do that?"

"Renesmee, you will _not_ talk to me that way! _Nor, _will you be seeing him again!" he grabbed her by the arm. "And you are not allowed to leave the house for… a year!"

"WHAT?" Nessie screamed. Edward grabbed her by the arm and towed her towards the door. Before he stalked out he turned to me and demanded, "Go home Jacob." it was almost a threat.

***

I sat, rolled up in a ball, on my bedroom floor. My innards felt like they were going to become outwards. God was _that_ a stupid joke. I _was _sick.

I had not seen Renesmee in three days, four hours, and ten minutes. I had been writing her letters and emails but I knew she would never receive them. I sent her one email and Edward told me if I contacted her he would rip my head off and nail it to a tree. I don't know why or how he came up with that, but I believed him.

I had at least twenty-five letters written to Nessie. I was writing more by the second. I knew, someday, she would read them. I couldn't last without her. I didn't know how she was feeling, but I knew she had to be missing me to.

But… what if she wasn't? What if she didn't care? What if she was off taking to some other guy and had forgotten about me already? What if she and her dad had planned out that whole thing? What if I really was not ever going to see her again? I wailed.

My father came rolling into my bedroom. "What's wrong?" he asked. My eyes lit up like a possessed mans'. He sighed and put a hand on my wide shoulder. "Jake… I'm sorry." He was never one for verbal comfort. I started to cry.

***

My tiny white hand was pressed up against the window. My handprint was the only place that was not fogged up. A tear trickled down my cheek. I hated my father. I _hated _him.

I hadn't spoken to anyone in three days. Ever since I got home from that hotel my family had tried to talk to me, but I had ignored them. I suppose I was not mad at them anymore, in fact I was never mad at them at all. Sick of them, yes but not mad.

Not mad at anyone except my father. I understood where he was coming form. I would be furious too if I had a daughter and she went out and got herself drunk. But how could he banish me from Jake? Jake tried to stop me, he tried to save me. But I would listen. I was too stupid and ignorant; I didn't realize that somehow my father would find out. I still didn't know how he found out, but I wasn't about to ask.

Realizing my ignorance made me face the hard truth that this was all, in fact, my fault. My horrible, stinking fault. I didn't know how I was ever going to forgive myself, or how Jacob or my father was ever going to forgive me. I had been writing letters to Jacob. Love letters, I guess. They were really dumb and I wasn't allowed to send them, but he would read them someday.

I decided I needed to make this all better, but I didn't know what to do. I wanted advice. I wanted Rosalie.

Rosalie was my best friend, beside Jacob. I love Auntie Alice with all my heart, but she was my mom's best friends. Even though we were the closest in age, it would be weird to have the same best friends as my mom. Rosalie and my mother were never the best of friends either, something that normally bugged me, I wanted everyone to get along. But today, I could care less.

"Mom…" I called out into the hallway. She rushed to my door. She felt terrible about this whole incident, but was also so furious at me she didn't do anything to calm my father down. "Yes?" she responded.

"Can I go hunting with Rosalie?"

"No"

"Please?"

"NO, Renesmee."

"Well can she come here? I really need to talk to someone," I begged.

"Talk to me."

"You're mad at me"

"So is Rosalie," she said. What?

"W-what? Rosalie? Why?"

"Well it's not that she's mad at you more that she's disappointed in you. " I started to tear up at that. I brushed the tears away. "Please mom?"

She had always had a hard time saying no to me. She took a good look at me and said "Alright," with a sigh. "But I will go get her; you are NOT allowed to leave this room."

"Thank you mom, thank you very much."

"You're welcome. But do NOT make me regret this."

Regret this? Haven't I made her regret enough in the past few days?

* * *

_Hey! I am SO INCREDABALLY SORRY this took so long to upload. This story will be ending sooner than later thought. I don't abandon stories without a legit reason so I have to finish this one up! Let me know what you think. Thank you and very sorry! _

_-Lilly_


	5. My Letter

I was sitting on my bed when a tall, slim, beautiful blond knocked on my door. My best friend, Rosalie had come. She didn't make eye contact with me; she just came and sat down on the bed. She played with a corner of the sheet, still not looking at me. "What did you want to talk about?" she muttered.

I had a meltdown. I cried, and fell into her. She wrapped her rocklike arms around me. "Shh," she whispered. "It's okay."

"No its not!" I yelled into her shoulder. "It's not okay! I'm not allowed to leave this cabin, I'm not allowed to talk to Jake, and everyone is mad at me!" Rosalie started stroking my head, not saying anything. I looked up from her shoulder, "Feel free to jump in with heartfelt reassurance," I hinted.

"Oh Ness…" she chuckled, "everyone isn't mad at you… they're just very disappointed, they thought they raised you differently. "

"They did! That's the problem! I don't know what came over me! I just… I just… OH I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" I wailed.

"Nessie! Your parents might hear you! Aren't you in enough trouble?"

"I don't care!" I was yelling into her shoulder again.

"Okay Ness, you just need to make them trust you again. You need to make them listen first; I know how your father is. You know he doesn't want to hear it. He never wants to remember that night again. But he has to if he ever wants to get over it."

"I can't talk to him about this Rose, I can't"

"You have to!" Rose was holding my shoulders up now and looking into my eyes. "You _have _to Nessie!"

My breathing was shaky but I nodded. She was right, she was normally right. "Okay, I can try" I still didn't think I could do it, but maybe.

"Atta girl" Rosalie smiled at me and went back to her home.

***

_One two three four… one two three four… one two three four… _

I counted my steps as I paced around my room. I was brainstorming a way to talk to my father. I had to apologize, or talk somehow. I was biting my lip so hard, when I released I left an indent. "UGH!" I screamed. I pulled a few strands of my hair out by accident. I was about to go for a run when it hit me.

I could write a letter.

That would be perfect! I could write it until I got it perfect, I wouldn't have to be there when he read it, and I wouldn't have to confront him!

I sprinted over to my desk and pulled out a notebook and pen. I bit my lip and dove into my letter.

***

Three hours and seventy nine sheets of paper later I was almost finished. I had gone completely through a one subject notebook; the last page in it was going to be my final draft. I wrote it and read it over one more time just to be safe. It read,

_Dear Father,_

_Hi. I know you don't want to talk to me now, or even hear from me, but you've got to. You've got to understand why I did what I did. _

_It's going to be difficult to explain to you why I did it when I'm not sure myself. I just know that I was tired of being a baby, tired of being treated like one anyway. But I was being rotten. You and mom don't treat me like a baby, at all. I was just feeling like a rebellious teenager, and since I have never been one of those I wanted to know what it felt like. However, that is no excuse. I'm very sorry; my actions were unexplainable and stupid. _

_I know you have to punish me for what I did, it was inexcusable. But please, please don't punish Jake too. The whole night, Jacob was trying to help me. He wanted me to stop just as much as you did, and it hurt him just as much as it hurt you. I know you have never liked Jacob and I know this incident doesn't help, but he really did nothing wrong! Please, I have to see Jacob. _

_You can lock me up in my room forever, but if I don't see Jacob… I can't even imagine what will happen to me. I will wither away to nothing. He's everything to me, daddy. So please, let me talk to him. _

_I'm very sorry about what I did, and I hope you can find some way to forgive me. _

_I love you, _

_Nessie _

The letter was not exactly how I imagined it, but it would have to do. I was out of options. I snuck out of my bedroom and put the letter on my dad's pillow. Now I just had to wait for him to read it.

***

I had fallen asleep on my bed waiting for my father to come home from his hunting trip and read the letter. I awoke to a knock on the door "Can I come in?" a male voice asked. It was my dad. I sat up, my body felt like it had not moved for a very long time. Daddy came and sat on the corner of my bed.

"Nessie… what am I going to do with you?" he asked, fatherly.

"Let me see Jake!" I suggested. He sighed.

"No"

"WHY NOT?" I shrieked.

"Because you're being PUNISHED RENSEMEE!" he yelled back. I was about to respond, when I understood what he said. "So when my punishment is over you'll let me see Jacob? Really? Just like that?" my eyes lit up.

My father nodded bitterly and I remembered how long I was punished for. "You said I was grounded until I was thirty…?" the light left my eyes. Something flew out of my chest, I felt hollow.

"Yes, I did. But that seems a little… extravagant. I'm reconsidering when you'll be allowed out. However, right now you're punished indefinably." He told me and walked out of my room.

Maybe things were turning my way. I fell asleep that night with hope in my heart.

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_Hey thanks for reviewing! It means a lot to me (: next chapter will probably be the last. SORRY ): haa. Look for it! _


	6. The Verdict

I woke up the next morning feeling abnormally rested. I must have had a peaceful night, but then I don't remember having nightmares the past couple nights. Though I'm sure I have been.

I hope out of bed and walk into the kitchen to make myself breakfast. I was scrambling some eggs when my mother came in from outdoors. She always had this strange almost unnoticeable grin that flickered over her face for half a second when she saw me eating eggs. I asked Rosalie about it once, and she said none of them knew anything about it other than this strange humor about eggs started after they got back from their honeymoon.

That turned me off eggs for a while.

"Morning honey," she came up and kissed me on the forehead. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah. Where've you been?" I asked.

"I went for a run." _A run?_ I thought.

"Why?" I questioned.

"I just needed to do something."

"Oh. Where's dad?"

"I think he's back at Carlisle's. Why?" mom said.

"Nothing. He just said he was rethinking my punishment but I don't want to bug him."

"He's rethinking you're punishment?" she sounded shocked.

"Yeah!" I laughed.

"That's great."

"Mmhmm!"

"So what are your plans for today?" she asked me.

"I don't know… I don't know what to do, Mom. I've been so board recently! I feel like my DNA is going to unwind if I just sit around anymore!" She laughed.

"I know how you feel. I couple years ago I started to feel that way, but you find other things to do with your life. Like your father has his music or Alice has her fashion."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. But I don't want to sit around at home! And I don't have to go to school!" I haven't had to go to school in over a year, I finished high school and didn't want to go to college yet. I had eons, after all. An idea dawned on me. "Hey, do you think it would be okay if I went to help Carlisle at the hospital?"

"Doing what?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. I really didn't know.

"You mean you want to be a doctor?" she asked me. When I said I wanted to help that's not what I meant, but I liked the idea of becoming a doctor.

"Yeah… something like that?"

"Okay well you can go ask." My mother seems amused; she must think I'm just being curious. When in reality, I think I may have just found my future.

***

When I asked Carlisle if I could help out at the hospital, he seems skeptical. But he said yes and soon saw what a big help I was. He didn't let me do anything with the patients, but I got to watch closely.

Veolia! My passion was born.

I went home that evening to announce to my family that I wanted to be a doctor. They seemed amused, which made me very angry. I stormed off to the cottage where my mother later came and assured me that everyone thought I could do it, they were just surprised as none of them had ever wanted to have a real profession and they were surprised that I wanted too. I didn't entirely believe her.

We decided that I needed a degree in something and the next day we would drive to Washington State University to see what programs they offered. I was really excited, I couldn't wait.

The Headmaster talked to us personally, and said normally they didn't allow medical students to take their courses over the internet – as I wanted to do – but since he knew Carlisle and knew what an outstanding doctor he was, and knew how much Carlisle could teach me, he made an exception. I was enthralled; I couldn't wait to start classes. College should be a breeze, after all I am more intelligent than the average human and I don't have human needs that will get in the way.

***

It turns out that college – especially internet courses – is far harder than I expected. I have to have papers done earlier and I have to spend a certain amount of time on the computer or I start to fail. I can't just leave the computer running on the site and walk away, because the teacher operating sees I'm not doing anything and sends me an email with more work to do.

My intelligence and superhuman ability to remember material presented another dilemma; I was moving too fast. Moving fast is good, but being able to do junior work after only one week of school makes the teaches suspicious. I had to take it down a notch.

I asked Carlisle how he survived going at a human pace during school, and he said it was very difficult. He would work slowly, but study more advanced things while he was supposed to be doing the work his teacher gave him. That's how he has so many degree's in different areas of medicine.

That's what Carlisle did, but that's not what I wanted to do. I sent a carefully worded email to my teacher, explaining why I will be moving so much faster than I should. I blamed it on an IQ in the upper one hundreds, and she believed me. I started whizzing through my work, I'm going to be finishing an entire textbook every month.

A week into my college education my father came and rapped his knuckles slowly on my door.

"Come in!" I called. I closed the workbook I was studying from. He came in and shut the door behind him, standing only a few feet away from it, as far away from me as he could be.

"Do you remember our discussion about me coming up with an acceptable time for you to see Jacob again?"

"Of course," I told him.

"I've made my decision." I gasped, quietly and bit my lip. I clutched the arm of the chair I was sitting in.

"And?" I asked.

"You violated my trust, and there have to be consequences for that. But I thought about the actions of that night, and talked to some people, and I've concluded that you were telling the truth when you said Jake was trying to get you to stop."

"Yes, he was." I whispered.

"So, in three months, you will be allowed to see him again." A smile spread across my face. I leapt up and sprint across the room to hug my father. I grabbed his hands and jumped up and down, "Thank you! Thank you so much!" I squealed and hugged him again.

He then began to lecture me on how I was still grounded for six months to this house, and Jake could only come over here, but I was too excited to listen.

"Can I call him?" I interrupted, something I probably shouldn't have done, but I couldn't hold back my question.

"no, you're still not allowed to contact him until those three months expire."

"Okay, so did you call him?"

"Your mother told him. She said he was thrilled too."

"Thank you, dad," I said and hugged him again.

***

As it turns out, three months is a lot longer in actuality than in theory. But I threw myself into my studies. I was grateful I had something to distract myself with, and when I wasn't studying I imagined myself as a doctor. I refused to let myself think of Jake, however, I just made my longing to great.

I was flying through my work, and my professors' even insisted I shadow Carlisle because at some point I needed a mentor, and I for me it was going to be sooner than later.

I was just doing my freshman year in college as a general in medicine. I was going to choose my specific degree after I completed freshman year. I had about three more months to go, and right now I was leaning towards neurosurgeon. The brain fascinated me, and I was capable of being anything.

The blood in the hospital didn't present itself as much of a problem, though it did give me an uncomfortable feeling of longing and hunger in my stomach. I got off lucky, I'm sure it was almost unbearable for Carlisle to get used too. And that longing may be for Jake, it may have nothing to do with blood.

The three months are hell, but not having Jake around allowed me to really focus on school. I tried to block out any thoughts of him, and because of school I succeed. Though I had a wall set up to stop any memory of him, I was starting to feel empty inside.

Instead of focusing on how much I missed him, I decided to focus on what I was going to do when I saw him again. What I was going to say, what we were going to do… the possibilities were endless. I couldn't wait to see how he had been.

Now I just have to survive the next three months.


	7. The Reunion

Today was the day. Today was the long awaited day. The day I could see my soul mate again, the day I could see Nessie.

I woke up too early to go and see her. I'm sure she was awake, but her dad was going to be looking for a reason to ruin this and I didn't want to give him the opportunity. I decided i need to get some exercise, I should go for a jog.

I ran so fast and so hard once I got outside, I didn't even feel myself make the transformation into a wolf. I ran until I reached the outskirts of La Push. Ever since the incident there with Nessie, I hated La Push. I turn back around and ran home.

When I got home it was about 10 o'clock in the morning. I wanted to go see Nessie then, but I smelled myself while I was getting dressed. "Damn…" I muttered. A shower would push me back at least ten minutes, and at this point, ten minutes might as well have been ten more months. But I decided that it needed to be done, so I stripped and jumped into the shower.

I was about to leave the house, finally, when I remembered something that drew me back inside. I pulled out the box from under my bed, the box that had letters to Nessie from almost every day I didn't see her. I dumped the envelopes in a backpack and flew outside. I turn the key in my motorcycle and speeded down my driveway and onto the highway.

I was starting to shake I was so excited. I hadn't thought about what I was going to do when I saw her. I figured it would come naturally. We were meeting in a field near Nessie's house, her parents had arranged it. No one was going to be there but us; however we only had an hour and a half before we had to go back to the cottage with her parents. Only an hour and a half alone, that wasn't enough, but at least we would have some time alone.

I got to the Cullen's house and inhaled deeply. The scent still set my nose on fire, but it also reminded me of Nessie. I threw my motorcycle on the ground and jogged back to the field near the cottage. Our field was tiny, and deeply surrounded by trees. We had discovered it when Nessie was about seven. She had loved climbing the pines and I would lie down on the rocks and snooze. After the first day in the field, Nessie told her parents about where we had gone. At first they seemed agitated, but once Nessie wanted to show it to them they relaxed. It took me a while to figure out what was wrong, but I remembered the meadow Bella had always wanted to go to when Edward was gone, and figured they thought Nessie and I had found that meadow.

I got to the field before she did, and sat down on a boulder. I picked up a tiny rock and started to etch designed on the big rock to pass time. I was so intensely focused on the strange markings I was making on this rock that I only looked up when I heard a tiny, familiar voice say,

"Jake." I looked up, my eyes wide.

"Nessie," a huge smile spread across my face. She didn't smile, but she gazed at me. I stood up slowly from the rock and walked forward. Before I knew it she was racing towards me. A smile had broken out across her face, I watched every step she made towards me and I ran towards her.

She slammed into me. "Jake!" she cried. I lifted her off the ground and swung her around, the whole time her arms squeezing me neck. When I set her back on the ground she pressed her head into my chest and cried. I kissed her on the forehead and hugged her even harder. At some point we fell to the ground.

We were lying on the grounds, her face still in my chest and me rubbing her back when she looked up. I stared into her eyes for an immeasurable amount of time and as a reflex I sat up. We were inches away; I put one of my hands on her face and caressed her with my other hand. We leaned forward, and I kissed her.

With her soft lips pressed against mine, I remember what it felt like to be whole again. We kissed softly for a few seconds, but the months of not seeing each other had taken their toll and the kissing become more urgent. The kisses were quicker, and harder, and when once of us had to breath the other would start to kiss other parts of the face, or the neck. I grabbed a handful of the hair of the back of her head and pulled her closer to me. We rolled around it the grass until we finally gained enough control to stop.

After we stopped we found ourselves lying in the same position we hand when she first tackled me, her head on my chest and my hand on her back. She looked up at me, "Hi," she giggled.

"Hi," I laughed back. Nessie's eyes filled with something that looked like sorrow, and caressed my cheek.

"Jake… I've missed you. So, so much…" she whispered. She put her face back on my chest and inhaled, "I think I've forgotten what it's like to really breathe…"

I held her closer. "I've forgotten how it feels to feel whole again." I told her. She looked up at me with her big eyes, "Cheesy much?" she joked. I laughed and rolled her over to I was stretched across her. I started to kiss her again, but this time they were slow and passionate. When I was done, we laid in the grass holding each other.

I was starting doze off, I was so happy and relaxed, when a watch Nessie was wearing went off.

"We have to go back to the house," she said. I groaned and slowly sat up. When I was standing Nessie hopped over to me in a way that made her strongly resemble Alice and kissed me a few times before we slowly made our way back over to her house.

Once inside, it wasn't the same. The joy and the thrill of seeing Renesmee again was still there, and we did exchange a few small kisses, but something was missing. Or maybe it was there, we just had to hide it because of her parent's two rooms away. We talked about what we had done the past three months, and virtually didn't let go of each other for one minute.

Around ten o'clock – could it be ten already? Had a already spent an entire day with her? – Edward came in her bedroom. He didn't look happy about what he had to say.

"Jacob, you need to leave. Bella and I have to run over to Carlisle's, and when we're back I don't want you here. Understood? We'll only be ten minutes." Ah, I get it. He didn't want to leave us alone.

"Understood," I felt like I should call him 'sir' or something, but I wouldn't resort to that. Once we heard the door click shut Nessie started to kiss me again.

"I can't believe you have to leave already,"

"I've been here like eighth hours." I laughed.

"Doesn't seem like it…" we left her room and walked to the front door.

"G'night Nessie," I whispered, caressing her face.

"Goodnight Jake," she stood on her toes to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered in her ear, "I love you. I will always love you," I looked in her eyes, intently.

She pulled me closer to her. "I love you too Jake," she said. I leaned down and kissed her slowly, passionately. I stroked her hair one time before I walked out the door. I looked back at her one time before I phased and ran away, she smiled at me. I sighed at the thought of leaving. But I knew that today was only the start of the rest of forever together.

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_Ahh cheesy endings! (: LOLOL so what do you think?? I am SO sorry this took so long to write – there are no excuses. But here it is, finished. I hope you like it and eternal thanks for reviewing!! 3 _


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